Being a therapist, I have heard many stories. I have also heard many stories in the rooms of 12-step meetings; I too have my own story.
During the early stages of becoming a therapist, I had a moment where words were just pouring out of me. Words that were a combination of my own experiences as well as that of many others. Words that are deep and raw. Words that most don’t allow others to hear or read. The following poem is not for the faint of heart. It talks of what so many women have experienced throughout several generations.
I wrote this to extend love, compassion and empathy to every woman who has shared their pain with me. I wrote this to help the young girls and women I will inevitably encounter who will unfortunately relate. I wrote this from the depths of my soul.
I share this for those who cry alone. I share this so you know you aren’t alone. I share this for those who are afraid to share their story. I share this in hopes that the pain will eventually lighten.
Cycles
Cycles, so many cycles.
Cycle breakers, what does that even mean?
Moon cycles, menstrual cycles, cycles of the seasons.
Cycles are dizzying, some are painful.
Then they stop, or do they?
Some do, some don’t.
Some pray they stop. The pain so excruciating.
Hot, cold, emotional, don’t show too much…or you’re crazy.
The cycle of the Mother
The Maiden, Mother and Crone
The Moon
The Earth
The Sky
The Divine Feminine
The control, or lack thereof
The manipulation. And where did we learn it from?
Defense mechanisms
Learning how to get what we need or want
You create us, and then shame us
You create us, and then hurt us
You create us, and then ignore us
You create us, and then forget about us
You create us, and then don’t take care of us
You create us, and then rape us
We get the diseases, while you pass them along
We’re the dirty ones
We’re the ones that get diseased at a young age by the icky touch
You tell us that some things are saved for only those you love, then misuse that power
You create us, then turn on us
We get old
We can’t bare your children
We get a bit heavier
We lose our girlish glow
You strip us of all the things you loved about us with your need to control
Then get angry or distant when we take it back
Why do you mistreat us?
Don’t you know we are just asking for respect, love, acceptance, honesty and loyalty
Maybe that’s too much to ask
So, we stop asking
We get to a state of peace within ourselves
There are moments of loneliness
And then we remember that we deserve to be respected, we deserve to be loved, we deserve to be accepted, we deserve honesty, we deserve loyalty
We will not beg for it
We don’t need to beg for it
You have created us to be independent thinkers
You have created us to be assertive
You have created us to be forceful with our boundaries
You have created us to make our own money
You have created us to pay our own way
You have created us to be survivors
You have created us to be independent
And now you want to take it away
You may have created us, the younger us.
But we created who we are now.
We have taken everything we have learned from you and stand here setting a boundary that you will not take away our independence. You will no longer touch us whenever and wherever
If we intimidate you, that’s not our problem, it’s yours, you created us.
“Why are you so angry”
My darling, we are angry. We are angry that we gave you the power to begin with
We’re angry because you reject us
We’re angry that we have been hurt, and keep hurting each other
We’re angry that we’re where we’re at and we’re feeling hopeless that things will get better.
That we can forgive, apologize and mend the division.
We’re tired of being angry
We’re tired of fighting
And we will fight till we are dead, to break the cycle of division
Mothers unite
Sisters unite
Women unite
Let us protect each other
Let us hear and try to understand each other
Let us have empathy with each other
Let us put each other’s crowns on
Let us bring the divine feminine back to life
Let us step into our power
Let us allow the divine masculine to heal
Let us do what we were meant to do; protect, love, care for and hold accountable our children and those who try to hurt them
Let us take back our rights to be women
Let us create our safe spaces
Let us hold ourselves, and each other, with love and compassion
Sisterhood UNITE!
-Christina Fitch
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